Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Water Vendor Gets Goosed

So, as I just blogged, I sell water at Broadway shows.  about 15 minutes before the doors open to the theaters, us water vendors have to stand outside and sell to the people waiting in line.  The water is expensive, $4 for a bottle of Niagra water.  However, it is the only drink you can take to your seats, and it costs the same amount if you buy it at the bar.  A lot of people buy the water, and a lot understandably pass once they hear the price.  
Yesterday, I told an older gentleman that looked like Santa Claus that the water costs $4 after he inquired on the price.  He then made a joke that by charging that much that I was raping him...I thought it was a bit off-color but I chuckled for his benefit and went on selling water. A few minutes later I had to get back inside the theater to sell in there, so i cut to the front door, and Santa Claus happened to be right there in line with his wife.  I kind of nudged in front of him waiting to get in the doors when all of a sudden i felt a sharp little sting.  Santa Claus just pinched my butt, as he was holding his wife's hand.    I thought well maybe he didn't like that I just stepped in front of him and he meant to pinch my back.   So I craned my neck around and said, "Sorry, I'm just going to jump in front of you for a second to get in."  And Santa said, "I'm sure you are"  and he took his cane and raised it all the way up right in between my legs, to my nether regions!  
He was still riffing off of his off-colored rape joke!
I never thought I would be sexually harassed in my life, but it has now happened, by an old man that looked like Santa Claus who was holding Mrs. Claus' hand as the harassment went down!

P.S.  I couldn't care less, I wasn't offended at all...it made for a good NY story! 

1 comment:

Meg McLynn said...

An excellent NYC story. Santa felt you up!! Creepy, yet amusing. Though if it were my ass getting pinched, I'd probably be more on the creepy tip.