Oh the economy

So, I think I graduated from grad school at the worst possible time. Obviously we are in a major recession, which is not good for anyone. But, you are completely screwed when you are entering the job market with a newly earned arts degree. All of the jobs that actors need to survive on, are the first type of jobs that get cut. And the entertainment industry gets hit hard too. As an actorin NYC, it is very beneficial to have an agent. They can help you get seen for acting jobs that ACTUALLY PAY! However, due to the economy agents have definitely cut back this year on signing new talent. Once again, not good for the actor just coming out of a training program, that is looking for representation. From currently working in the business end of the theatrical world, I also know that producers and financers are freeking out, and shows (Broadway, and regional productions...the shows that actors ACTUALLY GET PAID in) are getting cancelled left and right. Not good for any actor.

On a similar note and what actually prompted me to write this entry is because of an article I read at work today. I have a lot of free time at work and since I am one of the few actors that is a huge, huge, huge, sports nut, I spend hours a day on espn.com. Greg Easterbrook, a writer for ESPN's Page 2 mentioned this in his weekly Tuesday article, Tuesday Morning Quarterback: "Last week, TMQ asked why no one was paying attention to the fact that the national debt ceiling was quietly raised by $800 billion during the summer. Well, toss that column: The White House just asked the national debt ceiling be raised another $700 billion, for the proposed financial-sector bailout. If that happens, in 2008 alone, $1.5 trillion will have been added to the national debt: every penny borrowed from your children and their children. Stated in today's dollars, in 1979 the entire national debt was $1.5 trillion. George W. Bush and Congress have in a single year added an amount equal to the entire national debt one generation ago. And the year's not over!
It took the United States 209 years, from the founding of the republic till 1998, to compile the first $5 trillion in national debt. In the decade since, $6 trillion in debt has been added. This means the United States has borrowed more money in the past decade than in all our previous history combined. Almost all the borrowing has been under the direction of George W. Bush..."

No wonder the economy stinks, I have no money, and have found myself in the completely out-of-body experience of eating out of garbages on the NYC street corners! (For family and friends who are worry-warts, 1/3 of the above statement came out of the fictional thoughts of my somewhat warped mind!)

P.S. Just to make you more mad, Easterbrook also pointed out: "And about that $700 billion about to the shoveled to the Wall Street elite -- in 2007, George W. Bush vetoed an increase of $7 billion per year in health care spending for the poor, saying the country couldn't afford it."

Update: So the $700 billion bail out was passed after it was first rejected. Which if we aren't being lied to, had to be done. However, one reason the GOP first rejected the bill was because it was too much money. The re-vamped bail out plan had a bunch of little easter-eggs attached to it ($150 billion worth) which made the GOP happy to accept this new plan. So they originally rejected the first one because $700 billion was too much, but when we added $150 billion to the plan, it was no longer too much. Greedy, hypocritical politicians, looking to help specialty groups so they will in turn help with their campaigns! Did I ever mention I hate politics!

Funny Audition Part 2

So the last audition mentioned was a bit humorous, but this next one was completely humiliating...and hysterical!

Part 2 

So while I was just finishing up my MFA Acting program at Columbia Univ., I decided to head out to the McCarter Theater in Princeton, New Jersey.  For you Minnesotans, the McCarter is comparable to the Guthrie.  The train ride is about an hour - an hour and a half long.  Thank God for Ipods!  And I had to get up extra early in the morning since it was an Equity open call.  That means there is no audition time slots.  You just show up and it is first come first serve.  However, if you are not Equity (in the actors' union for theater), you have to wait for all the Equity members to audition before you get to go; and if they run out of time you don't even get to audition.  With all the nerves and anxiety that comes along with auditioning, this painful waiting process is comparable to waiting in line to go on your first ever roller-coaster ride.  But it is even worse because you don't have friends to talk to in this line.  And since the only people you can talk to are all trying to get the one same role, it always consists of very akward conversation.  Anyways, I get to the theater really early and am lucky enough to be the third Non-Equity person to show up.  After about 4 hours of watching Equity people saunter in and getting to audition before me, there was finally a break.  No Equity actors in the vicinity.  I get to be seen, at last!!!  Unfortunately, that was the only good thing that happened that day.  I don't know what happened, but for some reason I had no connection to the monologue I performed, I was just saying words.  I've performed this monologue a hundred times, and this was definitely a first.  The casting director and all the others watching the audition gave me the faux friendly, "Thanks for coming in," which felt like, "Thanks for wasting my time, ya jerk."  Already embarrassed with my lousy audition, I start to head out of the room.  However, I couldn't find the door to exit.  I start to look around the room, desperately wanting to get out of there, but I had absolutely no idea where the door that I entered had gone to.  Did it just vanish?  Is this some cruel joke that they play on the people who give bad monologues?  Lost and helpless, I pull a desperation move and look behind the thick, black curtain that is draped against the back wall.  Nope, the only thing back there are pipes, and dance bars, and a ladder or something.  No doors.  I turn back to the auditors (yes, they have been watching all this) and sheepishly ask them, "Ummmm, how do I get out of here?"  They smile and with a half-covered chuckle say, "Through the doors that are directly behind you."  For some reason, I had managed to miss seeing the GIANT, GIANT, GIANT sized wood double doors with the bright red exit sign over them!!!!!  Completely humiliated I exit the doors exclaiming to the auditors, "Oh man, I am the biggest idiot ever."  They say that it is always a good thing to be memorable at an audition.  Well, I was definitely memorable, and I guarantee it was not a good thing.  And needless to say, I didn't get cast!

Funny Audition Part 1

So, (Being from Minnesota I am obligated to start my stories off with the word, "so") over the last few months I have been to a few auditions that have had moments that have not gone so well.  Maybe these audition blunders are due to nerves, maybe they are do to me just being a complete dork, but no matter what, they were completely embarrassing, or humorous.  

I'll start with one I found humorous.  

Part 1

About 2 months ago I got a voicemail from a manager who wanted to send me out for a commercial audition for a bubble gum brand called Gay Gum.  I was like I have no problem with pretending I'm gay on a commercial.  And since I'm practically begging on the subways for food right now because I'm so broke, I definitely have no problem having to play a gay character in my first commercial because it pays a couple thousand dollars.  So for the day and a half between the call and the audition, I was practicing improvisations where I was being as flamboyant as I could possibly be.  When I finally showed up to the audition, I realized it was not for Gay Gum but for Day Gum.  Oh yes, I completely misheard the voicemail.  Surprisingly,  despite my lack of hearing, the audition went really well, until they told me to smile at the end.  So I smiled.  And then the casting director said, "Smile with both top and bottom teeth."  So I smiled just with my top teeth again, because I have a huge snaggletooth on the bottom row.  So the casting director goes, "and the bottom, please."  Begrudgingly, I jutted out my bottom teeth, in a huge underbite smile, which got me the immediate, "Next!"  Obviously, gay or not, I didn't get the job.